Unbelievable Clive Getaway: Wildwood Lodge & Suites Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the supposedly "Unbelievable" world of Clive Getaway: Wildwood Lodge & Suites! Let's see if this place lives up to the hype (and if I survive the experience in one piece). This is gonna be a raw, unfiltered, and probably slightly bonkers review – deal with it.
First Impressions & Accessibility - Can a Wheelchair Get Through?
Alright, let's be real. My first thought when I saw "Wildwood Lodge" was, "Please, PLEASE tell me there's an elevator." And thankfully, yep, there is! Elevator? Check. Now, the fine print – and this is IMPORTANT for my accessibility peeps – I didn't personally travel with a wheelchair or mobility aid. But I snooped around, and based on what I saw, it looked promising. I saw ramps, wide doorways… but I'd still HIGHLY recommend calling ahead and specifically asking about the actual accessibility of the specific room you're booking. Don't assume! Facilities for disabled guests is marked, but ALWAYS double-check.
Internet: Is It Actually Available? (Spoilers: Usually)
Okay, the Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! is a HUGE selling point. No more hotel Wi-Fi fees! And the Internet [LAN] option is there for those dinosaurs like me who still like wired connections. I got a little lost trying to find it, but after I finally got my laptop workspace, I found the internet was working, so I could enjoy my stay with Free Wi-Fi. Let's be real, Internet access is the modern survival tool. You can’t live without it. I'm living proof. I rely on it daily.
Unveiling the Amenities: Spa Day Dreams & Fitness Failures
Okay, so, let's talk pampering. The Spa itself is… well, it’s got potential. I'm all about the Sauna, the Steamroom, the Massage. Pure bliss. I heard whispers of a Pool with a view — I'm sold. The Foot bath sounds amazing… and I mean, the Body scrub and Body wrap? Sign me up! I went the fitness route. Let's be honest, my enthusiasm for the Gym/fitness is minimal – it’s usually a struggle between the bed and the door.
Food, Glorious Food (Or, the Mystery of the Buffet)
Dining at Wildwood Lodge is an adventure! Let's start with the good: Restaurants, Coffee shop, Bar, Poolside bar all give options for food. Restaurants are very impressive. The Breakfast [buffet]… ah, the buffet. It's a gamble, folks. Sometimes it's a treasure trove of deliciousness. Other times… well, let's just say your expectations need to adjust fast. The Asian breakfast option were pretty good, I’ll give them that. I did enjoy the Desserts. I always enjoy desserts… I ended up with a snack. After all, a Snack bar is always a good option. And yes, they had the classic Soup in restaurant, Salad in restaurant. The option of a Vegetarian restaurant is always a good thing. The Bottle of water they provide is always a nice touch. And yes, Breakfast service, A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Room service [24-hour], Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant are all there.
Cleanliness & Safety: Is It Germaphobe Approved?
Okay, the pandemic changed everything, right? Wildwood Lodge seems to be tackling the situation head-on. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection in common areas? Check. Hygiene certification? Check. I saw the Staff trained in safety protocol. The Rooms sanitized between stays. The Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. They provided Hand sanitizer near the entrance. The Safe dining setup was also good to see, which is a good thing. I was also able to choose to get Room sanitization opt-out. The whole situation, I was happy with!
The Room: A Home Away From… Well, My Home (Hopefully Better)
Okay, the room. This is where it can make or break a hotel. Air conditioning? Check. Alarm clock? Check. Bathrobes? Check. Bathrooms? Check. It had Blackout curtains, which is ESSENTIAL for me. A Coffee/tea maker is a must. I NEED my caffeine. The Extra long bed was a nice touch, and the Free bottled water was a welcome sight. Private bathroom, Shower, Toiletries, Towels, Slippers all there. I had the Smoke detector, Safety/security feature, Socket near the bed, Telephone, Umbrella, Wake-up service and Wi-Fi [free] all. It's been a long day. The Desk was my best friend. The Closet was spacious. The Hair dryer, Mirror, Refrigerator came along. The fact that there was Internet access – wireless made me happy. Overall, I would say it's the Non-smoking rooms.
Things to Do (Besides Binge-Watching Netflix)
Listen, I'm not a "sightseeing" type. I'm a "relax, recharge, and maybe accidentally try to learn something" type. Wildwood Lodge offered a few options to break past the Relax barrier, like the Fitness center, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, and Swimming pool [outdoor]. And of course Poolside bar for a more relaxed experience. I found myself just chilling on the Terrace, watching the world go by. This sounds amazing!
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things that Make a Big Difference
Okay, let's appreciate the hidden heroes. Air conditioning in public area? Check. Daily housekeeping? Check. Doorman? Check. Elevator? Check. Facilities for disabled guests? Check. Food delivery? Check. Luggage storage? Check. Safety deposit boxes? Check. Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Dry cleaning, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Smoking area, Valet parking, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Pets allowed unavailablePets allowed, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms. All these things? They make life easier. The Car park [free of charge] is a HUGE plus. Getting Around: Is It Easy to Escape?
Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, and Valet parking show it's easy to escape.
For the Kids
I don't have kids, but I peeked. Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal is there!
The Final Verdict (and a Crazy Offer!)
Look, Wildwood Lodge isn't perfect. There might be some hiccups. But it's got heart. It's got potential. And for the price… let’s just say there's a good chance it's worth it.
So here's the deal:
THE "EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD ESCAPE" PACKAGE!
Are you stressed? Overworked? In desperate need of a getaway? Then book your stay at Wildwood Lodge, and GET ready to have your expectations blown!
Here's what you get:
- A room, of course! (Maybe with a view… maybe not. Life is a gamble!)
- Free Wi-Fi (because you need to document your escape, duh!)
- Access to all those "relaxing" amenities I mentioned (attempt at your own risk)
- A complimentary bottle of wine upon arrival (because you deserve it!)
But wait, there's MORE!
- I'll personally cover your first massage (assuming I can convince the manager)
- You get to pick your theme song for your trip! (because… why not?)
The catch?
- You have to be honest! (tell me how it goes, even if it's a disaster)
- You have to be adventurous! (try something new)
Book this through me, and I'll get you the best deal possible because I'm a human, just like you!
This is a limited-time offer! Don't miss your chance to unleash your inner wild child (or, you know, just relax in a robe).
Unbelievable Clive Getaway: Wildwood Lodge & Suites Awaits! Book NOW!
(P.S. I'm not actually affiliated with Clive Getaway. But I do take tips!)
Baxter's BEST Hotel Deal: AmericInn by Wyndham!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into… Wildwood Lodge & Suites in Clive, Iowa. And let me tell you, this isn't going to be your sterile, perfectly-timed brochure. This is going to be real. This is going to be messy. This is going to be… me attempting to navigate a weekend in the Midwest.
The Wildwood Wanderings: A Clive, Iowa Chronicle (with a dash of existential dread)
Day 1: Arrival and Mild Panic (and a REALLY good pool… maybe)
1:00 PM - Airport Arrival (Des Moines International, aka DSM, aka the gateway to… well, Iowa.)
Ugh. Airport chaos. You know, the usual: perpetually delayed flights, screaming toddlers, the existential dread of realizing you’re surrounded by hundreds of strangers all hurtling towards… somewhere. I swear, the air smells faintly of desperation and stale coffee. Grab the rental car, hopefully, I remember how to drive on the "wrong" side of the road, that's the trick.
2:00 PM - Check-in at Wildwood Lodge & Suites.
Okay, first impressions. It's… nice. Clean. Kind of… beige. Like a well-behaved Labrador. The lobby smells faintly of chlorine and cleaning product, which, honestly, is comforting in a weird way. The woman at the desk is impossibly cheerful. I suspect she’s secretly a robot. Or perhaps she's just spent years perfecting the Art of the Customer Service Smile. I'm leaning toward robot. The room is a decent size, bed looks comfy, I dumped the bags. Now, a quick recon… Ooh, the pool. Seems alright.
3:00 PM - Post-Travel Recovery, The Pool
Okay, the pool is actually… surprisingly decent. Indoor, but with a big sunny window. Hot tub bubbling away. Ahhh, the simple pleasures of… chlorine. Sat in the hot tub for a half an hour. I swear to god, my brain cells slowly turned to butter. Honestly, for a slightly sad hotel in Iowa, this is absolutely a win.
4:30 PM - A Stroll & The Local Vibe
Decided to explore. Walked towards the "town" with a lot of strip malls. There is a massive Target and a Panera. I swear, I thought I was going to find a charming Iowa town, or at least a weird-themed shop, but the only vibe I got was "suburban sprawl". It may be my jaded city sensibilities but… it was a lot of, well, a lot of the things I left the city to avoid.
6:00 PM - Dinner at "The Local Eatery," (aka, whatever's closest)
We found a restaurant called 'The Local Eatery' - I was hoping for a hidden gem, like a mom-and-pop place with amazing comfort food. But it was a chain. The food was… okay. Nothing to write home about. I did, however, witness a small child have a complete meltdown over a plate of chicken nuggets. A truly universal experience, that one. Maybe I should keep a journal of these moments, the mundane horrors of everyday life.
7:30 PM - Return and Doom-scrolling… Or, Maybe Not
Back to the room. Sat on the bed. I have an urge to doom-scroll but decide enough is enough. Let's read a real book instead. Trying to focus on the book is like swimming through molasses. The sound of the AC unit is deafening. Maybe a quick dip in the pool before bed?
9:00 PM - Pool-side Thoughts (or, The existential dread of quiet contemplation)
Okay. Second time in the pool. Soothing. Really, truly soothing. Sat in the hot tub, staring at the ceiling tiles. I think I need to write a poem about the existential void that is a hotel jacuzzi. Do people ever really "relax" on vacation? Or are we just delaying the inevitable collapse into… something? Probably just a midlife crisis, I'll never be a poet.
10:00 PM - Bedtime. (Hopefully, sleep)
Hit the hay. Pray for a good night's sleep. Tomorrow, we venture forth again. And hopefully, the room will be less beige. Day 2: Adventure (Maybe), and the Perils of Over-Planning
8:00 AM - Wake up, question life choices.
Well, I slept, which is a win. The sun is shining. Maybe this Iowa adventure won’t be a complete disaster.
9:00 AM - Hotel Breakfast (complimentary):
The "complimentary" breakfast is… well, complimentary. Let's just say the word "gourmet" does not apply. However, there's a waffle maker! I am a sucker for a waffle maker. The best part is watching other people create culinary monstrosities.
10:00 AM - Attempt at "sight-seeing" (i.e., mild confusion)
Okay, the itinerary said "visit the Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden". We got lost. In a place that is, geographically, quite orderly. Finally found it. The gardens are pretty, actually. Really, really pretty. Spent too much time taking photos of flowers. Admired an enormous greenhouse. Forgot to eat a snack.
1:00 PM - Lunch (or, the hunger pangs return)
Found a "farm-to-table" place. The food was good! Possibly the best meal of the trip so far. There was something… honest about it. Almost made me feel… human.
2:30 PM - Forced Fun (aka, The Desperate Search for "Entertainment")
Decided to go to a local "art gallery." It was closed. Went to a mall? Was not feeling the mall vibe. Ended up at a trampoline park because… well, why not? I actually had fun. Felt like a ten-year-old again. For, like, fifteen minutes. Then my back started hurting.
5:00 PM - Back to the Lodge, the hot tub beckons
The hotel's pull, for a lazy afternoon…
6:00 PM - Dinner… and the dreaded return to "The Local Eatery"
We went back to the Local Eatery. There was nothing else, and I was hungry. Same mediocre meal, same screaming toddler. But this time, I was prepared. I brought earplugs, and I decided to people-watch. It's a dangerous game, but someone's got to do it.
7:30 PM - The Great Hotel Room Debacle
Went back to the hotel room. There was something wrong with the AC unit. It was making a noise like a dying walrus. Called the front desk. They sent a technician, who messed with it for half an hour and then shrugged. "It's old," he said. "It happens." Well, that's helpful!
9:00 PM - The Pool for Solace
Went to the pool. Sat in the hot tub. Found solace. The chlorine embraced me.
10:00 PM - Packing… and the sweet release(?) of sleep.
Packed the bags. Tomorrow we leave. I wonder if Iowa will haunt my dreams. Probably.
Day 3: Departure and the Unanswerable Question
8:00 AM - Wake up, contemplate the meaning of life (again)
The AC still sounds like a dying walrus.
9:00 AM - Last Breakfast (and the final waffle)
Gave the waffle machine one last go. The perfect way to say goodbye to mediocre breakfast.
10:00 AM - Check out (and escape!)
Checked out. Said goodbye to the robot receptionist.
11:00 AM - The Des Moines airport again, this time the journey home begins.
The airport is still chaotic. The smell of stale coffee still fills the air. But I feel… different. Changed? Maybe the experience, despite its flaws, made me appreciate some of the things I take for granted.
12:00 PM - Heading Home.
Leaving Iowa. I don't think I'd visit again. But you know what? In its own weird, beige way, Wildwood Lodge and Suites, gave me something. A place to be confused at some very specific times. A place to soak in chlorine. A very mediocre place, but a place. I'll miss the hot tub.
And that, my friends, is my saga. Until next time, may your waffles always be golden, and your hotel rooms mercifully quiet.
Unbelievable Clive Getaway: Wildwood Lodge & Suites - Uh... Where Do We *Start*?
So, like...What *is* the Unbelievable Clive Getaway? Sounds... dramatic.
Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because "dramatic" is putting it *mildly*. Basically, it's a… well, *was* supposed to be a relaxing weekend at Wildwood Lodge & Suites. Clive, bless his heart (and wallet), booked it. He’d been going on and on about needing a "digital detox" and some serious "woodsy vibes." The reality? Think less "serene retreat" and more "slightly chaotic, possibly squirrel-infested adventure." Let's just say, the "unbelievable" part came in spades. And not always in a good way. Like, you know when you book a place online and the photos are…optimistic? Yeah. That. But hey, memories, right? (I'm still trying to decide if they're good ones.)
Wildwood Lodge & Suites. Sounds… rustic. Is it *too* rustic?
Rustic? Oh, sweet summer child. "Rustic" implies a certain… charm. Think "shabby chic," maybe a strategically placed mason jar with wildflowers. Wildwood? Let me paint a picture. The lobby smelled vaguely of wet dog and… something else I couldn't quite place. Maybe old wood, maybe… *other* old things. The "suites" were, in reality, a glorified, slightly damp cabin room. The shower? Let's just say the water pressure mimicked a particularly grumpy garden hose. I suspect a family of squirrels might have taken up residence in the walls. I swear I heard them plotting world domination all night. So, yeah. Rustic. Like, straight-out-of-a-1970s-wilderness-survival-documentary rustic. Pack your bug spray and a healthy dose of optimism. And maybe a hazmat suit. No, I'm kidding… mostly.
What are the amenities like? They… they have a pool, right? Please tell me they have a pool.
The pool… sigh. Okay, deep breaths. Yes, they *claimed* to have a pool. In the photos, it looked… inviting. Like, crystal-clear water, lounge chairs, a little umbrella to stick your drink under. Reality? Well, let's just say the water had a distinct green tinge. And by "green tinge," I mean it closely resembled swamp water. There were… things… floating in it. Things I wouldn't let my worst enemy swim in. And the "lounge chairs"? Faded plastic relics, cracked and sun-bleached, that threatened to collapse upon any attempt to sit. My emotional reaction? Utter despair. I legit spent ten minutes just staring at it, contemplating the meaning of life and the futility of pool dreams. I ended up sitting on a nearby picnic table bench and staring at a bunch of chipmunks trying to eat my sandwich. More entertaining, frankly. They also (allegedly) had a "game room" and a "fitness center". I didn't even bother looking.
Okay, so the lodge itself might not be great. What about the surrounding area? Is there anything to *do*?
Honestly? The surrounding area was… a mixed bag. On the plus side, the actual woods were pretty spectacular. Think tall trees, crisp air (when you could escape the… scent… of the lodge), and the promise of outdoor adventure. We went for a hike (after consulting a map that Clive swore he printed, but I'm fairly sure it's a doodle from his college math notebook) and ended up… well, we ended up *somewhere*. Definitely not where we *intended* to be. Saw a deer though! And a very large, very intimidating raven. The town nearby, well, let's just say it was "charming" in a way that reminded me of a ghost town from an old Western film. One restaurant that was open served food that I'm pretty sure was older than me. So, adventure? Yes. Convenience? Not so much. Oh, and the "lake access" they advertised? Turned out to be a muddy bank and a bunch of weeds. Another pool-esque let down!
What about the staff? Were they… helpful?
"Helpful" isn't quite the word I'd use. Let's go with…"present". The woman at the front desk, bless her heart, looked about as thrilled to be there as I was. She was also the sole occupant of the front desk and the only person who appeared to be doing anything. She was… friendly, but also seemed perpetually exhausted. Like she'd seen some things. Things I *didn't* want to know. The "housekeeping" (air quotes here) was… minimal. The towels were threadbare. The sheets… well, let's just say I brought a sleeping bag after the first night. I never saw a single other staff member. So, if you're hoping for five-star service? You're in the wrong place. If you're hoping for someone to acknowledge your existence? Well, maybe. Maybe not. It's a gamble. A Wildwood Lodge gamble. Get it? (I'll show myself out...)
So, the food... how was the food? Please tell me it wasn't *too* bad.
Ugh. The food. Okay, here's the thing: I'm not a food snob. I'll eat almost anything. But. The "complimentary breakfast" advertised? That's where things went off the rails. We're talking, lukewarm scrambled eggs that tasted suspiciously like they'd been made with powdered eggs. Stale, slightly-burned toast. Rock-hard, pre-packaged muffins. and coffee that tasted vaguely of burnt rubber and disappointment. Clive, bless him, actually *liked* it. He said it "reminded him of camping." I stared at him like he’d sprouted a second head. "Camping" is supposed to be enjoyable Clive! It's supposed to be wood smoke and bacon! Honestly, the best part of the "breakfast" was the chipmunks that swarmed the picnic table trying to steal our muffins... at least they had good taste! We ended up eating every other meal off-site, which resulted in a few stressful dinner drives. And, more importantly, Clive's constant moaning about being "off the digital grid". It was a culinary disaster, folks. Pure and simple.
Would you recommend the Unbelievable Clive Getaway at Wildwood Lodge? Be honest.
Honestly? Let me put it this way: I am still processing. There were moments of genuine frustration. There were moments of hysterical laughter. There were moments I wanted to scream. Would I do it again? Probably not. Would I *recommend* it? Well… if you're looking for a truly *memorable* experience? If you have a high tolerance for questionable hygiene and outdated décor? If you're adventurous and have a sense of humor andComfort Inn
